I Solemnly Swear
by Bella Kundu
Summary: Follow Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs during their Hogwarts years through friendship and love and well-managed mischief. Because the Marauders deserve to be defined by how they lived, not how they died.
1. King's Cross Station

**King's Cross Station**

"Mum! I'll be _fine_. It's only until Christmas. Right, Dad?" James Potter protested loudly, shuffling his feet uncomfortably and turning red as his mother patted his cheek ever so condescendingly and kissed his forehead. "_Mum_." James looked up to his dad in outrage, looking for support, only to receive a warm smile and a chuckle.

"Be good, Jamsie," his mother said, and James huffed impatiently and glanced anxiously around Platform Nine and Three-Quarters to see that nobody had heard her before muttering, "I'm too old for you to call me that! That was for when I was _little_."

His father burst out laughing at the sight of this slight, eleven-year-old boy so indignantly declaring that he wasn't little, and laid a hand on his child's shoulder before saying, "Well son, then you'll be old enough to know not to save your homework for the last minute, and to be in bed by nine, and to _not _sneak the broomsticks out of the broom shed at the school."

"Okay, okay," James agreed hurriedly, thinking that these were good terms if it meant not being embarrassingly smothered in another one of his mother's hugs. A tall boy with shaggy black hair who looked about his age was watching from the other end of the platform, his hands shoved in his pockets, _not_ being fawned over by his family, and James couldn't have this obviously cool kid thinking he was a sissy.

"My stuff's on the train and you've finished telling me the rules, so can I go see some of the other kids now, Mum?" James asked, continuing to eye the boy standing several feet away with curiosity and some admiration. The boy shook his hair out of his face and thrust his chest out a little bit, looking even more proud and self assured. Now, why couldn't James look like that?

James ducked away from his father's hand, which was trying to ruffle his already unruly hair, and having obtained permission, strolled over to the boy, sticking his hands into his pockets as he went to mirror the student's stance.

"Are you a first year?" James asked as he approached.

"Yeah. Sirius Black, pure blood," he said, extending his hand formally.

James wrinkled his nose and said, "Oh, you're one of those who care about blood status." He started to retreat, disappointed. Mum and Dad had said never to hang around with someone who valued blood status more than they did people. It was one of the many instructions he'd been told as he'd packed that morning.

James had begun to turn away from Sirius Black when the boy shouted, "Wait! Hang on; help me put my trunks in the luggage compartment."

James hesitated. Feeling more nervous than he'd ever admit, glanced over his shoulder at his parents, who were discreetly watching from a distance, and, feeling safer, said, "Alright."

"I'm going now, Mother," Sirius said to a black haired woman who was nearby.

"Don't do anything to make me send a Howler after you, Sirius Black!" the witch called after him sternly before pulling him into a brief one-armed hug and then turning her attention back to her other, younger son who was clinging to her hand.

"I _won't_, Mother," Sirius grumbled. "Bye, Reg." He gave a little wave to his younger brother and then hefted a heavy trunk into his arms while James picked up the other.

"Sorry about that," Sirius apologized when they were some distance away. "Mother says it's only proper to introduce yourself with your blood status so people know you're not a - _a mudblood_." Sirius whispered the last fearful word hesitantly, and James looked up in shock, accidentally dropping the trunk on his toe.

"My mum said never to say that to anybody!"

"I wasn't actually _calling_ anyone that," Sirius protested, his face flushing at his evident blunder. "It's what Mother calls them. But what I was _trying _to say is that I think blood status is a load of rubbish, I just had to introduce myself that way because Mother was right behind us. I'm not - I don't - that's _not_what I'm like!" Sirius started stammering towards the end of his outburst, flustered and uncomfortable.

"Okay, okay, sure," James said, taken aback by Sirius's earnestly. He gave Sirius a shy little glance, and since the color had begun to fade from the boy's cheeks, ventured to ask, "So what House do you want to be in?"

Sirius's face lit up. "Gryffindor! I have to be. It's the only House I want. You think I'll get in? I'm brave. I don't guess that I'm all that chivalrous, but..." Sirius gave a small, hopeful smile.

The doubt in James's eyes cleared and he offered a friendly grin. "Oh, I guess you _are _alright, then. I want Gryffindor, too."

Sirius's face lit up and he mock-punched James lightly in the shoulder. "Yeah? Maybe we'll be together then."

James looked straight into Sirius's sparkling, laughing, gray eyes and knew he'd found a friend. He shoved Sirius back playfully and then they both chuckled aloud as they dragged the trunks into the luggage compartment and then stood back to gaze up at the bright red train. Their young faces were identical reflections of awe and a touch of nervous trepidation as the steam curled up from the base of the train and left a misty haze over the now emptying platform.

In the face of the mighty steam engine, James thought of his room at home, with his own bed and his familiar Quidditch memorabilia, and then thought of the long journey to a place he'd never been. He was ashamed to find that he was already homesick.

"Hey, well, I guess my mum wants me to say 'bye," James said, making excuse to see her one last time, "but I'll see you on the train?"

"'Course," Sirius replied easily, eying the station. "I'm going to board the train now because it looks like Reg and Mother have already left, but come find me once you get on."

James nodded and hurried back to his parents, who were still watching. He looked down at his feet, hoping they wouldn't mention his sudden return. "I guess you'll want to give me some last instructions," he muttered, still not looking up.

"Oh, Jamsie." His mum bent down and enfolded him into one of the soft, tender hugs that only mothers can give, and James pressed his cheek against her shoulder and breathed in her homey smell. He felt suddenly safe and at ease, and his appetite for adventure at Hogwarts returned in a rush. James kissed his mother's cheek and accepted a hug from his father and then, with a roguish grin, ran up to the huge, magical train that would, at last, bear him away to the place that would make him a wizard.

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><p>AN: I know this kind of story must have been done a hundred times, but I thought I'd give it a go of my own. Right now I'm just planning on continuing it for as long as I have ideas. Let me know what you think! I'm also planning to alternate the POV for each chapter so that each Marauder has a voice, so I hope nobody's confused by that. Any thoughts? Liked it, hated it? Read and review!

This story is dedicated to Krissyy, because she made me love the Marauders as much as she does.


	2. Scars

**Scars**

Remus growled quietly under his breath as he fumbled with his tie, the knot slipping undone for the third time as he tucked the end under the wrong loop. He leaned in closer to the mirror, crossed the fabric over itself, and tugged at the ends, hard. This time, the knot caught and he slid it up to his throat and turned down the collar of his shirt over it. The tie was black now; as soon as he was sorted the color would change to match that of his house, as would the lining of his robe. Remus held his tie up to his face and rubbed the cloth in between his forefinger and thumb, scrutinizing it. It was clean, certainly, but the cloth had been chafed with use until it was no longer silky, and it looked shabby and worn, which, of course, it was. But what else could one expect with hand-me-downs from one's father?

Remus's family wasn't poor, exactly. It was just that everybody knew about the confrontation between Remus's father and Fenrir Greyback, and they knew exactly how Greyback had exacted his revenge. Because of this it was no surprise to the family when they met cold, unwelcoming stares and too-high prices at stores and in public. Nobody at Hogwarts would know the terrible secret - the headmaster had promised that. But none the less, Remus didn't fail to observe that, while all the other first years were mingling and chatting with their new acquaintances, he was alone, unapproachable. People took a moment to stare at his clothes and at the scar on his face and then moved away, instinctively repulsed even if they didn't know exactly what those scars meant for Remus on every full moon.

That was why Remus was here now, changing into his school robes the moment he got on the train because it would be something to make him feel like he belonged, something to hopefully smooth away part of the difference that was nearly palpable in the space between Remus and every other student on the train. He pulled his second-hand robes over his head and flattened his now somewhat disheveled hair, and then jumped when two boys stumbled, laughing, into the bathroom in which Remus stood.

"The look on that greasy-haired kid's face!" one of the boys gasped out between chuckles. "What kind of scum would _want _to be in Slytherin? Besides my family, that is," the student added as an afterthought. Then he turned his attention back to the subject at hand and said, "What'd you call him, James? 'Snivelly'?"

The other boy, evidently named James, shook his head and replied, "No, I said 'Snivellus', but 'Snivelly' is good, too." James caught sight of Remus and his laughter died out. "Oh- sorry, didn't see you." His eyes flickered to the scar that slashed across Remus's cheek and then darted back to meet Remus's eyes.

Remus raised his hand instinctively to cover the scar, but the other boy burst out, "Hey, those are cool scars! How'd you get them?"

Remus's face blanched and he stammered, "Um... I- I-" Was this it, then? Would everybody find out before he'd even arrived at Hogwarts?

"Oh, sorry, you don't even know who I am. Sirius Black. And this here who's goggling at your face is James Potter. Who are you?"

"R- Remus," he stammered, lowering his hand from his cheek, amazed that the boys were still there, seeming to want to get to know him. Remus cleared his throat and said more surely, "Remus Lupin."

"What House do you want to be in?" James asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes at James and said, "We just met him, it's not an interrogation."

"I know it's not," James argued back. "It's an icebreaker."

Remus shook his head. "No, it's okay. I'm hoping for Ravenclaw." Remus couldn't help but beam at the other boys. This was a conversation he was comfortable with.

"I'm not smart enough for Ravenclaw," Sirius remarked. "Ask my mother, she'd agree."

"But being a Ravenclaw isn't just about being smart, you know," Remus protested. "It's about having wisdom and creativity, too. It's not all wit."

"Aren't wit and wisdom the same thing?" James and Sirius asked nearly simultaneously.

"Actually, they're not. You can have wit without being wise," Remus said. "Anyone can learn from a book, but in the words of Helena Ravenclaw, 'Wisdom cannot be taught.' She said so in _Hogwarts: A History_." Remus looked around at the two blank faces staring back at him. "What, none of you have read it? It's a classic."

"Er, I think my mum keeps it on the shelf of old books nobody ever looks at," James mumbled.

Sirius grinned. "Well, after we get into our robes, come along to our compartment, Remus, and you can show it to us."

"And I can teach you a thing or two about Quidditch," James offered eagerly. "Ever heard of the Wronski Feint?"

Then James and Sirius were off, going on about Quidditch maneuvers that Remus had never cared to learn about, but he listened carefully to their every word despite his lack of interest in the sport, thinking that it was a small price to pay if just maybe, James and Sirius could see past the scars on his face long enough to really know him.

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><p>AN: I know this chapter was a bit short, but all I wanted to do here was show how Remus met the Marauders. Most likely the next chapter will be longer. Fanfictionfan909, I hope you enjoyed my rendition of Remus, and I do plan on showing how they find out his secret eventually, but not until the third year... which won't be for a while yet. But don't worry, there will be lots of Remus throughout the story. The next chapter will be from Sirius's POV (I'm _really_ looking forward to that) and then the one after that will be from Peter's POV, which I expect will be difficult to write. Anyway, I hope you liked it, and please leave me a review!


	3. The Sorting

**The Sorting**

Sirius trudged up a gravel path along with all the other first years, led by the bobbing yellow lantern that a huge man who'd introduced himself as Hagrid carried. The land was washed with a pale pink light from the setting sun, and the tall trees lining the path threw long shadows over the small party of first years who were walking up to the castle.

The knot of worry that had been forming in Sirius's stomach seem to twist itself tighter as the spires of the castle came into view as they rounded a bend. Sirius had seen enough pictures of Hogwarts to know which of the towers was Gryffindor's, and as the Black Lake caught his eye, reflecting the colours of the sunset in it's shimmering surface, he knew that below it was the Slytherin House's dungeons. He would do anything not to have to spend the next seven years in those dungeons under the lake.

"... sort of pretty, don't you think, Sirius?" Sirius jumped at the sound of his name, his musings cut short as James, who had been chattering along at his side, looked up, expecting an answer.

"Um, yeah, real pretty," Sirius said vaguely, trying to construct a coherent response from what he'd heard of the question.

James narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "You don't know who I'm talking about, do you?"

Sirius grimaced and admitted, "No, not really."

"Lily Evans! The girl on the train, with the hair, and the eyes..." James trailed off and raised his eyebrows, clearly waiting for a sign of recognition from Sirius.

"Sorry to break it to you, mate, but all the girls on the train had hair and eyes."

"Long red hair, green eyes, we were in her compartment on the train for a while, she left with Snivellus-"

"Oh!" Sirius remembered suddenly. "Snivellus's little girlfriend. Yeah, she's alright. Kind of bossy, though, don't you think? I doubt she'd be up for some fun and rule breaking."

James shook his head roughly, like a dog shaking water out of it's fur. "Did you say _girlfriend_?"

Sirius smirked slightly. "Keep your hat on, mate, I don't know anything about Snivellus and Evans. They _do _seem to never go anywhere without each other, though."

"Really?" James asked anxiously, biting his lip. "You think so?"

"You ponder that, James. Believe it or not, some girl you've barely talked to is not the end of the world." _But being put into Slytherin would be_, Sirius added silently in his head. He sighed heavily and clenched his fists tightly.

"What's your problem?" James asked. "You haven't listened to a word I've said all the way up to the castle, and now you're staring at Hogwarts like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Aren't you excited?"

"No!" Sirius burst out suddenly. "No, I'm not excited, okay? You're fine, your parents were in Gryffindor, and they'd love you even if you weren't. You know that families tend to get sorted together! All mine have been in Slytherin, and I'd give anything to break the trend!"

"Well, if you want it that badly, it must mean _something _to the Sorting Hat, right? It wouldn't put you somewhere you'd hate to be," James said unsurely, clearly wrong-footed with this role of giving assurance.

"You don't get it, do you?" Sirius said, lowering his voice now and refusing to make eye contact as he walked, staring at his feet instead. "You really don't see it. If I'm in Slytherin, I hate myself. If I'm in anything but Slytherin, my parents disown me for not being the son they raised. Well, yeah, I'm not the son they raised because I'm not a prejudiced monster!" Sirius burst out bitterly. He kicked petulantly at a rock by his feet and then groaned angrily when all he did was scuff his shoe.

Even though Sirius was very pointedly not looking at James, he could _feel _his friend's sympathetic gaze on his face. James opened and closed his mouth, clearly at a loss for what to say.

"It's fine," Sirius muttered, calmer now. "Everything's fine. I'll be put in Gryffindor and my parents will get over it. Right?"

James looked at him pityingly. "Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"

Sirius glared at him. "Myself."

James grabbed the front of Sirius's robes and pulled him aside, out of the stream of first years. "I won't pretend to know what it's like because my parents would do anything for me," James snapped, intense and oddly angry. "If you get put into Slytherin it won't change who you are, and if you don't and your parents hate you for it, then they weren't worth it in the first place."

"My parents are all I have," Sirus mumbled, ashamed to admit it.

James reached up and squeezed Sirius's shoulder quickly, looking straight into his eyes. "Not anymore, they aren't."

* * *

><p>Sirius's mouth was uncomfortably dry and he felt like his tie was choking him. He slipped his first two fingers inside the collar of his shirt and tugged at it, trying to breathe.<p>

"You look like you just saw a Dementor, mate," James remarked.

Sirius tried to say something witty back, but he couldn't seem to make the words come out of his throat. He coughed and managed, "I'm not surprised."

"Hey, calm down," James tried again. "You'll be fine."

Sirius sighed. James had been making attempts to get a smile out of him since they'd been ushered into a room behind the Great Hall by a tall, severe looking witch to wait for the Sorting. He shook his head. "Don't even try. Just... I just want to get it over with. I'm tired of waiting."

"C'mon." James nudged Sirius playfully with his arm. "Who cares about Houses? We're at _Hogwarts_!"

Sirius knew it was a lie - the Sorting was everything to James - but the fact that he'd bothered to tell the lie finally made the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Yes!" James shouted, throwing his arms up into the air in triumph when he saw the smile. "I knew I'd do it eventually!"

"Is everything a competition with you?" Sirius asked.

James was about to retort when Professor McGonagall, the witch who'd greeted them, reappeared, scowling ominously. "Who is foolish enough to make all that noise?" she demanded to know.

James gulped and shrank behind Sirius. Sirius would have found James's fear of the teacher humorous if Snivellus hadn't snickered quietly and leaned over to whisper something snide to Lily, who stood at his side. Instead of laughing, Sirius rallied in opposition of anything _Snivellus _found funny. Professor McGonagall finished reprimanding James and disappeared through the side door from which she'd entered, and Sirius took the lack of supervision to glare at Snivelly and say tauntingly, "What's so funny, grease-ball?"

The Snape boy sneered and said superiorly, "I guess I should have pegged you two to get in trouble before you're even Sorted."

Sirius's tension about the Sorting reared it's head at Snape's mention of it and he snarled, "Want me to wipe that sneer off your face, Snivelly?"

"You want to go ahead and get expelled on your first day, it's fine by me."

"Is that a threat? I don't take threats from scrawny little gits," James spoke up, reaching for his wand, as did Sirius.

"Just shut up about him, Potter!" This high pitched order came from Lily Evans, who stepped forwards, her wand drawn, her flaming red hair coming loose from its braid. She brandished her wand and edged in front of Severus a bit, shielding him with her body. "Just leave him alone! Is that so difficult for you? And if I was such an arrogant prat as you are, I wouldn't display it to everybody," she snapped.

James slumped back, disappointed. Sirius cast a glance at his friend's crestfallen face and took over the offense, taunting Lily with, "Ooh, there's that redhead temper."

"Shove it, both of you!" Lily's face was flushed, and she rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and raised her wand. "I swear, Black, I'll hex you to Merlin's-"

"Silence, all of you!" McGongall was back, her eyes flashing dangerously and her face like a thunderhead, boding ill for anyone who stepped out of line. "You, little girl, put your wand away. You two-" she nodded at Sirius and James "-stop making trouble. Oh, I know it's you," she added at James's expression of feigned innocence. "And a word to the wise: stop your mischief before you get sorted, because afterwards it will result in points being taken away from your Houses." She gazed around at their faces. "Oh, this year is going to be lovely, isn't it? I'd better go tell Filch to prepare some more detention slips."

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><p>Sirius thought he would never be as thankful for his surname as he was now. All his life his mother had told him he didn't have the proper pride, that he took for granted what it meant to belong to what she called, "the most noble house of Black." He'd thought she was a fool.<p>

Now, though, he couldn't be glad enough that the name "Black" made him only the sixth person to be sorted. He was so tired of waiting and wondering and fearing what the hat would shout to the Great Hall full of pupils.

Sirius tensed as Professor McGonagall squinted at the several reams of parchment she grasped in her hand and called in a ringing tone, "Black, Sirius!"

Sirius tried not to run as he climbed to the platform and took a seat on the battered stool before him. He could hear the soft murmur of hundreds of children's voices whispering to each other, and he closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to face that fearful crowd of students. Soft fabric slipped over his forehead and down across his eyes, and Sirius opened them to stare at the black felt inside of the sorting hat. His longish hair fell down into his face and tickled his nose, and Sirius gripped the sides of the stool tightly with his hands and tried to resist the urge to push his hair out of his face. If only the hat would speak and the ordeal would be over…

_Why so concerned?_ asked a small voice in Sirius's ear. _Hmm, resentment towards your family, fear… impatience… yes, Mr. Black, I'll be finished soon._

Sirius panicked that the hat was saying these words to the full hall, and then his breath caught as he understood that only he could hear the voice.

_You're torn between your family and your heart,_ the Sorting Hat continued. _Always follow your heart, Sirius. Go where you belong… GRYFFINDOR!_

The first thing heard Sirius heard after that beloved verdict was a shout of exultation, and he lifted the Sorting Hat from his head to see James leaping into the air and cheering. He caught sight of Remus, the slight boy from the train, grinning and clapping, and Sirius found his own anxious worry replaced by a burning desire that they would both join him at the table with a red and gold banner over it, even if Remus had wanted to be in Ravenclaw.

Sirius watched as Evans, Lily was sorted into Gryffindor and laughed at James's loud whoop of joy. He was shortly joined by Remus, who shook his head ruefully and took a seat next to Sirius.

"It's not Ravenclaw, but it'll do," Remus said, smiling at Sirius.

Sirius grinned. "It won't be too bad. You'll have me and probably James here in Gryffindor."

Sirius's smile broadened at how the boy's face lit up. He must not be used to having stammered for a moment before asking incredulously, "Really? I will?"

"'Course you will, what'd you think?"

"I- I don't know- thank you," Remus said, looking thoroughly confused.

"Remus." Sirius took hold of Remus's shoulder and made him face towards him. "We're your friends. Otherwise we'd have to actually read _Hogwarts, A History_, and why would we do that when we can have you?"

Remus grinned and his eyes sparkled, alive and finally truly happy. "Yeah, who needs Ravenclaw?"

Sirius thumped Remus on the back and shouted "That's the spirit!" and then turned his attention back to the Sorting Hat as Pettigrew, Peter trotted happily over to the Gryffindor table and James walked up to the platform, his head held high and proud.

The Sorting Hat had hardly left Professor McGonagall's hand when it bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius and Remus cheered until their throats were hoarse as James strode to their table, pulled Lily's hair as he passed her, and then took a seat on the other side of Sirius.

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment and beamed, feeling the glow of the candles on the inside of his eyelids and the presence of Remus and James on either side of him, and he thought with elation to himself that, at that very moment, he had everything he'd ever wanted.

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><p>AN: I absolutely _loved_ writing this chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Judging by the number of reviews I got for the last chapter, though, it appears that nobody is reading this, so I don't know if it's worth continuing. So please review and tell me what you think! Reviews = love.


	4. Should Have Thought

**Should Have Thought**

Peter was swept along with the stream of students leaving the Great Hall. Already the Slytherins and Gryffindors were glaring at each other and exchanging antagonistic remarks, but Peter kept his head down and kept walking, ignoring the jibes they were exchanging. It would be stupid to get involved in an argument, and besides, what was the point? An hour ago they'd all been nervous students waiting to be sorted, all facing the same unknown together. Now, for no reason at all, they'd become enemies with the same people who, yesterday, might have been friends. It was inane. It wasn't as if Houses really mattered all that much.

Peter had been surprised to be in Gryffindor. He wasn't brave, he certainly wasn't chivalrous… but the Sorting Hat must have had it's reasons. He had specifically tried not to hope for any House in particular so that he couldn't be disappointed, but now he was thoroughly bewildered. Everybody seemed to have some kind of strong affinity towards either Gryffindor or Slytherin while the other two Houses were pushed aside, and here he was, not caring either way, and getting into the House so many others had dreamed of.

Peter shrugged it off and looked curiously around for the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. He didn't see any doors lining the high stone walls, and yet Arthur Weasley, the prefect leading them, had just said they were almost there.

"Here," Arthur said, pausing in front of a nondescript portion of the castle. "Peskipiksi Pesternomi," he said to what seemed to be nothing, but then a voluptuous woman clad in a shapeless dress of brilliant silk bowed from her painting and the portrait swung forward to reveal a circular hole in the wall.

"Welcome, first years!" she greeted, and Arthur clambered through the space behind the painting and gestured grandly with his arm around the common room. Peter hurried past the others to reach the door and climbed through with some difficulty, then straightened up and gazed around the room, dazed and in awe. It was a circular room, with a grand fireplace crackling merrily and several inviting armchairs with plump pillows. A pair of staircases curved upward in opposite directions to what must be the dormitories. Peter gazed around at this paradise and thought to himself that, had he known the common room would be like this, he would have hoped desperately for Gryffindor during the Sorting along with all the other hopefuls.

"Who's holding us up?" came a frustrated shout from behind Peter,

"Yeah, c'mon, we need to get in," another impatient voice called out.

Peter whirled around and looked at the two boys behind him who had spoken up. They looked like brothers - both tall and lanky with black hair, cropped short and mussed on the one who wore glasses, and long and shaggy on the other. They stood boldly shoulder-to-shoulder and looked right back into Peter's stare. Peter blushed with embarrassment as he realized that he was still standing transfixed in the portrait hole and scurried out of the way, awkwardly stammering an apology, allowing the stream of Gryffindors to continue into the common room. Feeling idiotic, he shrank back against the wall, while the other students passed to explore and settle in. He was amazed at how quickly the students overran the room and took seats in the plush chairs - for him it was enough just to stand back and watch in amazement.

"So, our common room's pretty great, huh?" said a quiet voice at his side.

Peter jumped at the sound and the first thing he noticed was an ugly scar across the face of the boy who had spoken. Upon further examination he saw that he was faced with a diminutive boy about his age with soft brown hair and light eyes of the same color. Before Peter had time to feel foolish about being startled, he saw that this student looked as nervous as he felt. The stranger twisted the edge of his robes in his hands and bit his lower lip, his eyebrows scrunched together, waiting for a response.

"Oh- yeah- the common room is nice," Peter said quickly, realizing he'd been too busy goggling to answer, and mentally kicking himself for saying something so utterly _boring_. He'd basically repeated what the other kid had said, no wonder nobody had talked to him up until now…

"So, I'm Remus. You must be a first year, too, right?"

"Yeah, I am. My name's Peter Pettigrew." They both turned their eyes back to the common room, and Peter remarked, "It's a little intimidating, don't you think?" He jerked his head at the rowdy children prancing about the common room. "Especially those two," Peter pointed at the boys who had shouted at him to move. "I wish I was like them. I wish _they _liked _me_. But why would they hang out with me when they can hang around with each other?"

"They're nice," Remus said. "That's James Potter, with the glasses, and the other one is Sirius Black. They like Quidditch. We talked, on the train."

Peter looked rather incredulously from James and Sirius to Remus, his eyes roving over Remus's shabby clothes curiously and finally fixating again on the angry red mark that scarred his left cheek. "They talked to _you_? Really?" Peter said, blurting out his first impression without thinking about how it would sound.

Remus's expression hardened and his caramel eyes darkened. "I see," he said slowly, his voice calm even though he radiated hostility.

Peter froze, surprised by the sudden switch from amicable chitchat to the quiet anger and hurt in the boy's voice. He replayed the conversation in his head, and his eyes widened as he recalled his last words. They hadn't sounded like that in Peter's head! "Wait - Remus - Remus, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't think!" But Remus had started up the staircase to the boys' dormitories.

Remus paused halfway up the stairs and said, low, "Well then maybe you should have."

Peter stared after Remus as he disappeared up the marble staircase, ashamed of himself and furious that he'd crushed what he had with the one person who seemed to want to bother with a small, round, doughy-faced boy. He hadn't meant it the way Remus had taken it, truly he hadn't. It was only that, surrounded by everybody who seemed so at ease with each other and their surroundings, Remus had been someone relatable, someone who seemed to be experiencing the same isolation, and it had been a surprise, was all, to find that it was not the case. How could he have guessed that someone choosing to talk to _him _would have acquaintances with people like James and Sirius?

Peter looked at the common room again - which appeared even more hostile now that he'd been presented with a friend and had been foolish enough to go and ruin it - and sighed. He would give anything to have the kind of comradeship James and Sirius had, the kind of friendship he and Remus might have had. Well, he wasn't going to give up yet.

* * *

><p>AN: I _dreaded _writing this chapter. Canon doesn't provide much indication of what Peter was like as a child, and so I found it nearly impossible to make him both in character and still be someone the other Marauders would be best friends with. I rewrote it twice and edited it countless times, and I'm still not sure that it's right. So, you decide: What did you think of the way I portrayed Peter? Review! Also, the next chapter is Remus's POV again, for those of you who like to know ahead of time.


	5. Apologize

**Apologize**

Remus sat on his bed, fingering the smooth sheets and the plump pillow. He'd drawn the red and gold hangings around his four poster bed in case someone walked in, wanting to be able to think properly. The house elves had already lit a fire in the stone fireplace and brought up Remus's trunk. He rolled over onto his stomach and cupped his chin in his hands, feeling more and more foolish with each ticking minute.

The longer he was alone, the more he realized that Peter hadn't meant anything by what he'd said - after all, he'd been just as self-deprecating when talking about himself. And, now that Remus was taking the time to think instead of hot-headedly storming off, Peter's words - "They talked to _you?_" - could have been intended as a compliment - or at least a neutral statement - if the emphasis was on the word "talked." He'd allowed his fear of being ostracized to take over until he himself had pushed Peter away. He pulled his hand roughly through his hair and groaned quietly.

Suddenly, there was a hesitant knock on the door, and Remus froze. A moment later came Peter Pettigrew's voice, saying, "Remus, are you there?" Remus held his tongue, yearning to make amends and yet far too embarrassed to open the door. "Remus, I'm not stupid, I know you're there, I saw you go up the stairs." Remus closed his eyes, hoping as hard as he could that Peter wouldn't walk in. There was a loud sigh on the other side of the door, and then Peter said, "Well, I'll come back later, I guess," and then footsteps went faintly down the hall, away from Remus's room.

After a few moments Remus sighed and sat up, torn between shaking off his pride and going down to the Common Room to apologize to Peter, and just staying here and wondering about what might have been. Settling on the latter option for the time being, Remus thought that he might as well get something done while he was hiding from Peter, and he hopped off the bed to unpack his things. He opened his trunk and pulled out his clothes before ambling across the room to the dresser.

Suddenly he tripped over something bulky and hard at his feet and found himself sprawled on the floor of the dormitory, the clothes he'd been carrying scattered around him. Remus sat up part way and examined the object he'd fallen on. It was a trunk of one of his roommates. Curious as to the identity of the people he'd be living with, Remus heaved the heavy trunk onto his lap and looked it over.

Hanging from one of the clasps was what he was searching for, a bit of parchment labeled with an address and a name. Remus's eyes widened as he read the words, "Peter Pettigrew" and he sprang from the trunk as if it had burned him, inching backwards from it, horror in his eyes. So much for his plan of hiding from the student. Would he really spend the next seven years mere feet away from this boy whom he had, in all likelihood, offended in the first five minutes of their acquaintance by walking - no, running - away from him?

Just then, the door opened, and Sirius walked in, not laughing for once, looking cautious. Remus gave a surprised little shout, and Sirius caught sight of him laying on the floor, disheveled, with clothing strewn about him. Remus blushed as he thought of what the sight would look like to someone else.

But Sirius didn't seem very surprised to find Remus there, and only raised his eyebrows and nodded at the trunk near Remus. "It doesn't look like your unpacking has got off to the best start," he remarked.

"Oh- no, this isn't mine, Remus said, gently pushing Peter's trunk further away with his toe as if it would distance him from the actual person.

"Well, there's a Peter downstairs who wants to talk to you," Sirius said, "and he seemed to think James and I would be able to convince you to see him."

"Oh." Remus tugged at the forelock of his hair, hoping that Sirius wouldn't expect a better response.

"Well?" Sirius raised his eyebrows, waiting.

"Um… I guess I'll go see what he wants. In a minute." Remus became suddenly aware that he was still on the floor of his dormitory and struggled clumsily to his feet.

"He said to tell you that he didn't mean it." Sirius hesitated and then asked "Are you going to tell me what 'it' is?"

"Nothing," Remus muttered, then thought better of it and decided he'd been standoffish enough already that day and that it had gotten him nowhere. "He said stuff, and I took offense… it was really dumb. I overreacted. He has good intentions." Remus paused and stared across the room at Sirius, who crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"He seems alright," Sirius said slowly. "He's painfully awkward, and he blushes a lot, and he worships James -" here Sirius grinned playfully, "- but other than that, I kind of like him. You and Peter would balance out James's and my insanity," Sirius suggested. "If you sort out your problem with him."

Remus smiled slightly and said, "You know, I'm surprised he got up the nerve to talk to you. He thinks you and James are the coolest kids in the school."

Sirius grinned. "Are you implying that we aren't?"

"Oh, no, never," Remus laughed.

"Well, go on," Sirius urged. "If you two don't make up, James and I can't be friends with him out of principle. So go see what he wants to say."

"Always concerned about yourself," Remus muttered with false irritation. "Alright, alright, I'm going."

Sirius grinned happily. "What would you do without me to talk some sense into you, huh, Remmy?"

Remus smirked and answered sarcastically, "I'd be lost without you," then stood up and made his way back down to the Common Room.

He found Peter sitting in one of the armchairs, with James perched on the arm of it, both looking over the back of the chair to the staircase. When they saw him, James said something to Peter and stood up, walking a respectful distance away and then turning around, presumably to watch. Remus ignored his small audience as Sirius went to join James, and he made his way up to Peter and sat on the coffee table in front of him, refraining from crossing his arms.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Remus wondered if he was supposed to say something. After all, it had been _Peter_ who said he wanted to talk.

Peter opened his mouth, but no words came out, and his face reddened.

"I have unpacking to do," Remus said, "so if you want to say something, now would be a good time to do it." He knew unpacking was a lame excuse, but why had Peter gone to the trouble of involving Sirius and James if he was only planning on stammering and blushing?

"I… err… I'm sorry?" Peter said, making it sound like a question.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Remus said, not trying to be clever, but really wondering.

"Telling," Peter answered very seriously.

Something about the way Peter said it - maybe it was that he spoke as if he was taking a test - made Remus want to laugh. He tried to turn it into a cough, but it came out as a choking sort of noise instead.

Peter gave a little giggle at the strange sound, and then quickly managed to put a straight face on again, but the sight of Peter trying not to smile made Remus dissolve into chortling laughs.

Remus sat down on the arm of Peter's chair, clutching his stomach, still laughing. "It's fine," he gasped between giggles. "I was being pigheaded."

"I was being judgmental," Peter admitted, and Remus held out his hand for Peter to shake.

"Are we good?" Peter asked a little anxiously.

"Yeah, we're good," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which, to him, it was. "Come on up to the dormitories, we have the same room," Remus invited.

He and Peter stood up and set off up the marble staircase together. As he went, Remus caught sight of James and Sirius, who winked and grinned. Remus waved back, happier than he'd been since before Greyback had bitten him years ago.

* * *

><p>AN: So I hope nobody minded that I didn't actually show Peter meeting James and Sirius. I felt like all the first meetings and introductions were getting kind of old, and I wanted to start further developing their friendship instead of staying in that awkward phase of having just met. If that makes sense. I'm having trouble making sure that I'm writing the characters like they are eleven-year-old children. So let me know if you think they are acting too old for their age. Thanks to everybody who reviewed, I love all of you for taking the time to give me feedback. If I don't reply to your reviews, don't think that I don't appreciate them. I just sometimes don't know what to say other than "Thanks for reading and reviewing." So thank you, everybody!


	6. Chocolate

**Chocolat****e**

James was awake, but he kept his eyes closed, relishing that moment in between sleep and reality, where anything was possible. James snuggled into his sheets and reached under his pillow for the Golden Snitch his dad had given him for his tenth birthday, which he would never admit he slept with. James's fingers grasped at nothing, and he panicked. It wasn't there, the space between the pillow and the bedding was conspicuously empty! James's eyes flew open and he found himself staring at red and gold curtains drawn around a bed that didn't smell like his own. Where was he? Suddenly the events of the previous day returned in a rush, and James lay back against the mattress, breathing heavily as relief washed over him.

Of course, he was at Hogwarts, and this was his first day of classes, and his Snitch was in the bottommost corner of his trunk, padded with cotton balls to keep it safe. James smiled exuberantly. He could hear Peter muttering lightly in his sleep, and Sirius's soft snores, and… pages of a book turning?

James swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled the hangings curiously aside. There sat Remus, sitting on his bed cozily in a red robe with his legs crossed underneath him, reading his Charms textbook.

"Are you _studying_?" James asked in amazement. "We haven't even had class. We haven't gotten homework yet! Save the studying for when you actually _have_ to do it!"

"But I want to be prepared," Remus said simply. "What if they give us a pop quiz? We _are _supposed to look over our books during the summer." He picked up a bar of chocolate from his bed, broke a piece off the corner, and popped it into his mouth.

The expression of horror on James's face deepened. "Are you eating _chocolate_? At -" James glanced at the clock "- 7:30 in the morning?"

"What?" Remus said, slightly defensively. "Chocolate is good." He stretched out his legs, and, as he did so, accidentally pushed the Charms book off his bed, and it fell with a muted thud onto the stone floor.

"Wha's goin' on?" Sirius asked loudly, jerking out of his slumber abruptly.

"Nothing," Remus said, bending to carefully retrieve his book and brush it off. "Go back to sleep."

" 'S all right," Sirius mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. " 'M already awake, now."

"Remmy is _studying_," James declared. "And eating chocolate."

"Oh, I love chocolate," Sirius said, plopping down next to Remus and taking a bite from the bar of candy.

"Hey!" Remus swatted at him. "Break the piece off! You're getting your spit all over it."

"Oh, it's not like it's going to kill you. Want some, James?"

"Um, no. I want breakfast."

Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes at the same time. "Spoil sport."

The curtains around Peter's bed were swept aside, and he said, "I want chocolate."

Remus groaned good-naturedly as he tossed the candy bar to Peter and lay back against the bed. "Well, I think I'm done studying, so let's go to breakfast."

"You're going to have chocolate _and _breakfast?" James questioned.

"Well, yeah. Candy isn't a real meal. You're just jealous that you haven't got any, mate."

"Am not."

Remus smirked. "You so are."

* * *

><p>Professor McGonagall had seemed stern the day before during the Sorting, but now, seated before her in class, she was downright intimidating. She had called role without bothering with a welcoming speech as all the other teachers had that day, and now she towered in front of them telling them that if they couldn't turn the matchstick in front of them shiny by the end of class, that they would owe her a foot long essay on the theory behind it.<p>

James groaned loudly along with the rest of the class, except for Remus, who leaned over and whispered in James's ear, "I'd rather write the essay."

"What? Are you out of your head?"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us?"

"No!" James said too quickly, resisting the urge to slide down lower in his seat.

"Then I don't suppose that, since you're so disposed to talk, you would be kind enough to tell us exactly how to transfigure a matchstick into a needle?""

"Er, no, I don't suppose so," James said, having not paid attention. He looked at her with obvious apprehension.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said severely before demonstrating yet again the spell that turned the matchstick into a needle and instructing them to pair up and take turns working on their matches.

Sirius quickly claimed Remus, offering an apologetic smile to James and saying, "Sorry, mate, but I don't want to get on McGonagall's bad side, and Remus _was_ the one studying this morning."

"Is that all I'm good for now?" Remus exclaimed rather indignantly. "What does that make me, chopped dragon meat?"

"It makes you a very good friend who will let me mooch off you," Sirius said hopefully. "I've plenty of magical blood in me, if you think that'll help." He received the blank stares from James, Remus, and Peter, and said, "Okay, bad joke."

"Jokes are supposed to be _funny_," James pointed out, teasing.

"_Potter_!" McGonagall snapped.

"Right, matchsticks," James muttered. "Peter?" he said, looking to the blonde boy next to him. "Partners?"

"Sure," Peter said, beaming happily.

* * *

><p>Half an hour into the lesson, James stared at the matchstick on his desk as if it had committed a personal wrong against him and, for what felt like the millionth time, muttered determinedly, "Ignode acus."<p>

"Scrunching up your face like that won't turn it into a needle any faster, Mr. Potter," McGonagall remarked as she swept up and down the rows of students.

"Sorry," he muttered, averting his gaze warily.

"Let Mr. Pettigrew take a turn," she instructed mildly, her face softening just the slightest bit in the face of his nervousness.

Peter blushed furiously and picked his wand up with undisguised trepidation. He raised his wand with a trembling hand and was about to cast the spell when McGonagall interrupted, "Stop! You need a steady hand. You need to be sure of yourself. Are you a wizard or not, Pettigrew?" James couldn't help but shrink from her impatience, even when it wasn't directed at him.

Peter took a shaky breath and flicked his wand with far too little control, letting it slip and accidentally pointing it at Professor McGonagall.

There was a small flash of light, and suddenly her robes were shiny and hard and made of a silvery metal. Her lips pressed into a thin line and she took a step nearer to James and Peter. "It appears you were able to master the spell," she said slowly. "If only you could apply the same technique to _pointing your wand at it's proper subject_."

She reversed the spell and seemed to be about to take a few more points from Gryffindor when Remus gave an excited shout and threw his hands into the air in apparent triumph, breathing hard. "Yes! I made a _knitting_ needle!"

"Are you _serious_?" Peter asked in awe.

"No, I am," Sirius teased, sending the whole class into giggles as Remus jumped up and down, waving his knitting needle around.

"Have a seat, Mr. Lupin, and stop brandishing that thing before you take someone's eye out," McGonagall said sternly.

"Sorry," he said, seeming to have just realized the spectacle he was making.

"Take fifteen points for Gryffindor," she said, "though you didn't exactly perform the intended assignment."

"That was _awesome_!" James whispered loudly.

"Mr. Potter, 'awesome' though it was, I suggest you would do well to try practicing on your own matchstick, which is not yet pointy or shiny."

James directed his attention back to his matchstick immediately, but he couldn't help but grin once Professor McGonagall had turned her back. Here he was at last, at the place he'd dreamt of for as long as he could remember, actually doing spells. James picked up his wand and felt the warmth that was now becoming familiar spreading through his fingers. He flourished his wand happily, already planning what antics he and his newfound friends could get up to after class.

* * *

><p>AN: This chapter was going to be longer and have other stuff in it, but I was eager to update and I was tired of James's POV, so I stopped here. If it seemed to stop really abruptly, that would be why. Does anybody happen to know the actual spell to turn a matchstick into a needle? The only Transfiguration spell I could find was "Fera verto," so I just used the Latin for "from fire to needle" and then changed it so that it sounded like a spell. I'd like to thank Eleos for giving me such amazing reviews. Thank you, you're the best! I've been having writer's block lately so I'm not sure when my next update will be, but hopefully I'll get something out to you all soon! Reviews are love!


	7. Spies

**Spies**

"But I want to meet the gamekeeper," Peter was complaining, crossing his arms resolutely.

Sirius huffed and tipped his head back against the wall he was leaning on. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and by all rights they should have been outside by now, seeing as it was forty-five minutes after their last class. But no, instead of exploring the grounds as he wanted to do, they were waiting in the hallway outside the library so that Remus could check out a book he absolutely _had _to get at that very moment. Sirius stuffed his hands into his pockets, frustrated that they were whiling away the minutes arguing about what they would do once they finally got outside.

"Who wants to do that?" James asked, impatiently running his hand through his hair. "Don't you want to see what models of brooms are in the broom shed?"

"No," Peter pouted, a whine creeping its way into his soft voice.

Sirius groaned loudly.

"And what is up with you?" James rounded on Sirius.

"I just want to go outside. What would you rather do, fight outside in the sunshine, or fight in here?"

Just then, Remus appeared behind them and asked casually, "What are we fighting about now?"

All three boys' eyes widened as they saw the enormous stack of books under his arms and James said, "What in Merlin are you going to do with all those?"

Remus rolled his eyes and said, "Read them. What did you think I had in mind? But don't change the subject. Why are we fighting? I want to join in."

"Would you rather go see the gamekeeper and look at the animals there, or check out the brooms?" Sirius said quickly before James or Peter could begin expounding on why what they wanted was better.

Remus flinched slightly at the mention of brooms and answered quickly, "The gamekeeper will be great." James pulled a face and Remus pointed out coaxingly, "We have flying class tomorrow, anyway, you'll get on your broom soon enough."

"Good, let's go now," Sirius said, grabbing the cuff of James's shirt and beginning to drag him outside into the yellow afternoon glow of light.

James gazed longingly toward the broom shed as they passed the outbuildings, and Sirius smirked at the passion in his eyes. "James, it's not the first time you'll have seen a broom."

"I know," he sighed dreamily.

"Well," smiled Remus teasingly, "I know you can't be _too _head-over-heels for that Evans girl, because you sure don't look at her the way you're looking at that broom shed."

James coughed and blushed. "Where's Peter?" he asked, looking around desperately and latching onto Peter's absence to change the subject.

Sirius grinned sympathetically and jerked his head in the direction just ahead of him. "He went running off. I wonder what could possibly be so interesting about Hagrid that he'd want to see him that bad. The only thing about him out of ordinary is his size, and who cares about that?"

James shrugged. "Yeah, Peter's weird like that."

Remus shot the two of them reproachful glances, clearly disapproving of talking about Peter behind his back, and Sirius was about to complain about Remus's uptightness when they arrived at Hagrid's hut and saw that Peter was nowhere in sight.

"Peter?" James called.

Faintly, from around the back of the cottage, came Peter's soft call, "I'm back here!"

Sirius and the others trooped around the back to the pens where the animals were kept. They found Peter there, kneeling in the grass, slightly red-faced from his run to get there, but beaming delightedly as he reached both his hands over into one of the fenced enclosures and let three long, black, furry creatures nuzzle and swarm across his hands.

"Aren't they great?" Peter asked excitedly, picking up one of the weasel-like animals behind its forepaws as though it were a cat and rubbing the thick fur against his cheek.

"What _is _it?" Remus asked, staring at the oddly cute creatures.

Sirius snapped his head around from the animals to goggle at Remus instead. "There's something _you _don't know?" he asked incredulously, his face a mixture of surprise and immense satisfaction. "I thought it would never happen."

"So true," James agreed, not looking away from Peter, "but Remmy had a good question. What are they?"

"Nifflers," Peter said, looking at them as this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"A nif-what?" Sirius asked, doubting that there could actually be something called a _niffler._

"Niffler," Peter said, an edge of pride creeping into his voice. "They're soft, here, have one." He grasped the one in his arms by the scruff of his neck, freeing one hand, and with it pulled out another squirming niffler and handed it over to the other boys.

They each accepted a niffler, and Sirius held his at arm's length, squinting at it carefully. "I think Mother has a coat made out of this stuff," he said, rolling a tuft of the silky fur between his forefinger and thumb.

Peter stared at him in horror. "But they're under the Rare Magical Creature Protection Act!" he said in outrage.

Sirius shrugged apologetically. "Um, it's an old coat. Maybe she got it before the law was pass- hang on, why would you know about some random law about rare creatures?"

Peter blushed a little, seeming to be flustered by the attention. "I don't know, I just…" he trailed off and shrugged a little helplessly.

"You're an _animal lover_," James said, emphasizing the last two words so much that it sounded like an accusation.

"Well… I… I mean…" Peter blustered.

"No, that's cool, it's just… it's kind of cute," James said, biting his lip a little, clearly trying not laugh.

Sirius glanced quickly at James and the humor in James's eyes made it impossible for Sirius to not suddenly find himself struggling to contain his own amusement. They were choking on their chuckles and Remus was sending them disapproving little glares when a booming voice shouted, "Hey, who's there?"

Peter squeaked and scrambled to his feet, dropping the nifflers quickly into their pen, while Remus, Sirius, and James backed away nervously from the huge man who had rounded the corner of the house.

"Oh, yer all firs' years, aren't yeh?" he asked, the fierceness in his eyes seeming to melt a bit at the sight of the row of trembling students.

Peter whimpered and shrank further back, and James licked his lips nervously but said nothing. Sirius gave an impatient glance to Remus, who shook his head almost imperceptibly. Pressing his lips together in irritation, Sirius stepped forward since nobody else seemed willing to, and bowed his head slightly as he said surely but very quietly, "Yeah, we're all first years. We just wanted to see your, um, nifflers." At the word "we" Sirius gave a very pointed stare to Peter, who had partially hidden himself behind the other two boys and was peering around James's shoulder.

The man smiled rather kindly and offered his hand to Sirius, saying gruffly, "Yeh'll remember me from the boat ride 'ere. I'm Hagrid, the gamekeeper. Explorin' the grounds, I'll bet?"

Sirius brightened a little and thrust his chest out slightly, suddenly proud that he'd been the one brave enough to talk to Hagrid first. "Yep, we haven't gotten a chance to look around yet. Say," Sirius said, getting distracted by a fenced enclosure a ways off that held large, scaly, winged creatures. "What are those? They look way cooler than the nifflers. Can you ride those?"

Hagrid turned to look in the direction in which Sirius had pointed, and answered, "They're hippogriffs, and yeh can't ride 'em, least not until yeh've been taught to properly. Don' cross a hippogriff, things kin get ugly mighty fast with 'em. Animal lover?" he inquired in a very different voice than James had used, nodding over to Peter, who'd whispered the word "hippogriff" at the same time as Hagrid.

Peter, for once, didn't blush at the attention and stepped forwards to join Sirius, saying with easy enthusiasm, "Yeah! We're not in trouble for touching your creatures, are we?"

"Nah," Hagrid boomed. "Long 's yeh keep to the nifflers, yeh'll be fine. I'd invite yeh lot in fer some tea and cake, but I've got ter attend to feedin' the horned slugs. Yeh can stay out here long's yeh like, though."

The boys thanked him, and Peter had turned eagerly back to the nifflers when James stiffened and stared fixedly past Sirius's shoulder into the distance. He gritted his teeth and muttered, "I swear to Merlin, as soon as I learn a hex I'll…" he trailed off, muttering venomously under his breath.

"What is it, mate?" Sirius asked, furrowing his eyebrows. It seemed to take a lot to cloud James's enthusiasm, yet his hazel eyes were darkened and dangerous. Having elicited no reply from James, Sirius turned his head to follow his friend's gaze and caught sight of two distant figures walking, arm in arm, towards the Black Lake. One of the student's hair floated out behind her in a sudden breeze, and as the red locks rippled in the wind, Sirius instantly recognized the pair as Evans and Snivellus. Suddenly James's reaction made perfect sense.

He brushed off his robes and grinned at James. "C'mon," he said coaxingly. "I know what we'll do. Let's go spy on Snivellus, see what he's got going for himself that Evans would want. Yeah?" he asked, beaming at James hopefully. He couldn't care less for Evans, personally, but anything that would bother Snivellus was fair game, and who wouldn't be cheered up by some spying?

James brightened and a mischievous sparkle lit in his eyes. "I like the way you think, Black," he smiled. "You coming?" he asked, turning to Peter and Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I don't see what's going to be so exciting about following Snivellus around all afternoon, but seeing as I'm the only one who can actually do a spell, I guess I better come so you don't all end up turning yourselves into slugs or something."

Peter jumped to his feet, too, looking from Sirius to James with something like rapture in his eyes. "It's going to be awesome!" he squealed happily. "We'll show Snivellus!" He paused a minute and asked hesitantly, "Wait, who's Snivellus?"

The other three boys laughed good-naturedly and explained the animosity towards Snape as they set off, following Snape and Lily. James's frustration was already reduced to anticipation and humor, and Sirius smiled excitedly. He set his eyes solidly on Snivelly's back and lead the way, drawing his wand for theatrical effect, feeling like an auror even though he couldn't yet make any magic issue from the wand in his hand.

* * *

><p>"Ugh," Sirius groaned loudly as he and the other boys trooped across the grounds back to the castle an hour later. "That was the <em>worst <em>idea _ever_!"

"You're the one to whom the idea belonged," Remus muttered, casting a reproachful look at Sirius.

"Merlin!" Sirius burst out. "Why does your grammar have to be _so _perfect _all the time_?" he snapped.

"We just got assigned detention with McGonagall and we've collectively lost forty points for Gryffindor, and your biggest problem with that is my grammar?" Remus countered angrily. "And it _was _your idea, so stop complaining."

"It was only my idea because James was staring after Lily with puppy dog eyes and I had to do something about it."

"I can hear you, you know," James cut in. "And I do _not _stare at her with puppy dog eyes."

"Yes, you do," Peter said quietly.

"Shut up," the other three growled simultaneously.

A silent moment passed, awkwardness hanging in the air, and then all four of them muttered, "Sorry," as softly as they could. Sirius's head snapped along with all the others' and they all chuckled a little, and tension dispelling as they grinned with the comradeship of a group of people who are all in trouble together.

"It was really Snivellus's fault," James said. "If he hadn't been such a git about it when he caught us following him, I would never have tried to hex him."

Sirius bit his lip and refrained from pointing out that once they'd started "dueling" - not that either party had been very successful at it - it had been Lily who'd run off for a teacher. Instead he huffed, "I should probably write to tell my parents about the detention before McGonagall does. They'd rather hear it first from me." Sirius grimaced. What had been Mother's last words before he'd gotten on the train? Oh, yes. _"Don't do anything to make me send a Howler after you, Sirius Black."_ She was going to be livid. Dueling with another student, especially a Slytherin, would surely fall under one of those things that brought disgrace to the "most noble and ancient House of Black." He buried his hands in his hair in frustration and tugged at it angrily. "Oh, what's Mother going to _say _to me?" he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Peter looked at him and tried to placate him. "Don't worry, everyone must get detention sooner or later." He peered up into Sirius's face hopefully, and frowned when Sirius's expression of despair remained unchanged. "She'll get over it," Peter tried again. "Mothers always do."

"You've never met my mother," Sirius sighed, veering off from the rest of the group to head to the owlry. The owlry was dark and shadowy in the dimming evening light, full of glittering yellow eyes and rustling wings. Normally Sirius would think the mysterious air or the owlry to be a great adventure, but now all he could think of was what his mother would do when she got his letter. He pulled out a quill and a bit of parchment from his pocket with a trembling hand and began to write,

_Mother,_

_I've got put in detention for dueling with a student._

Sirius paused and thought carefully of what Mother would say if the conversation was happening in person.

_Before you ask, I don't know his blood status, okay? He's a Slytherin, but James - he's the kid you met at the train station - says he thinks he comes from a Muggle part of town. He's probably a mudblood, - _Sirius couldn't help but flinch as he wrote that word - _but I don't know for sure._ _I'm sorry, honest I am._

Sirius bit his lip and scrawled his name at the bottom of the page, trying to calm his pounding heart. He tied the letter to the leg of a tawny owl and had just watched the owl fly off when the door to the owlry was slammed open with a loud bang. Sirius whirled around, startled, and found himself facing a very angry, red faced, wild-haired Bellatrix.

"Bella!" he said, staring at her in surprise. They weren't the closest, and he knew his cousin liked Regulus better, but she had certainly _never _looked at him like that before.

"How could you, Sirius?" she snapped, striding forwards until he was backed up against the wall of the owlry.

Sirius looked her over, and could have sworn that one of her hands was fisted around the wand in her pocket. "What?" he asked, honestly bewildered. "Whatever it is, I didn't mean-"

"Oh, don't tell me that," the fifth year growled, her eyes feral, wild. "You had to have meant it to go get yourself sorted into _Gryffindor_, of all foul houses. Do you realize what an embarrassment this is?" she spat. "What you've _done_? Your poor mother, having to raise someone as stupid and wayward as you! What is _wrong _with you, Sirius?"

Sirius gulped. He supposed he should have put that in his letter, too. "I can't help where the Sorting Hat puts me, Bella," he said timidly.

"_Don't go making excuses to me! _This proves it. I always said you were a black sheep, and now everyone else will see what I've known for years."

Sirius tried to stop his lower lip from trembling as he shrank further away against the wall. The hand in Bellatrix's pocket was being withdrawn, and there was the handle of her wand, just becoming visible as she pulled it from her robes… but, no, surely she wouldn't, she was his cousin, his family-

"Sirius?" a voice called from outside the owlry. "Sirius, we're all waiting for you, what's taking you so-" James stepped in, with Peter and Remus close behind. James's eyes widened as he saw what was happening, and he stopped short. "Oh. What's… who is…" James suddenly turned to Bellatrix and snapped "Get off of my best friend!"

"Oh, an ickle little first year is supposed to scare me, is it?" she drawled, her voice sickly sweet.

"I'll go find a teacher!" Peter piped up.

Bellatrix snorted. "Fine, Sirius, you're not worth it. Nothing can fix you now, anyway," she muttered, turning to leave.

"He doesn't _need _fixing, you do," Remus growled under his breath as she left.

Sirius breathed a heavy sigh of relief and slumped back against the wall.

"Was that a _fifth _year?" James asked incredulously. "What are you doing, messing around with the older kids?"

"That was my cousin," Sirius said, disgust seeping through his voice.

Suddenly, there were hands on his back, his arm, petting him, pitying him. Sirius clenched his jaw. He didn't need this. He didn't need to be seen differently by his friends. He shook off their sympathy. "Whatever, can we just go to dinner now? I'm hungry," he said forcefully.

Thankfully, they understood, and when he stepped out of the building into the light, Sirius could see that their smiles and gestures hadn't changed. He smiled back at them and headed into the castle, more grateful for his friends than they would ever know.

* * *

><p>AN: I have a couple of people to thank here. **Taylur**, for giving me the idea of having the Marauders spy on Snape. **Dr. Platypus** for helping with the Latin for spells (and for having a cool pen name). And thank you to every single one of you who reviewed. You make my day. I give you all virtual hugs. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Ask Me No Questions

**Ask Me No Questions**

"Remus, what's the matter with you? Aren't you excited for the Halloween feast?" Sirius asked loudly, plopping down next to Remus on one of the couches in the common room. Remus closed his eyes briefly, rubbing his temples as the pounding in his head intensified at the cutting sound of Sirius's voice.

"Sirius, you're sitting on the Transfiguration essay I just finished, and I have a headache," he murmured, the sound of his own words making his head spin.

"Sorry," Sirius whispered more quietly, getting up off the essay and then sitting down again to the side of it. "But, the feast. It's going to be so cool!" Remus winced as Sirius's voice raised again, and his friend took note, lowering his pitch as he continued, "I heard the ghosts put on some kind of show, even _Moaning Myrtle _comes out from her bathroom."

Remus's headache wasn't so bad that he couldn't open his eyes and say witheringly, "What's your fascination with Moaning Myrtle? For all you know she's a bore. It's not like you've even seen her."

Sirius blushed a little and he fiddled with his fingers anxiously.

Remus's eyes widened. "You've seen… what in Merlin were you doing in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom? It's a _girls _bathroom."

"I was curious," Sirius shrugged.

"I would assume that girls' bathrooms look just like ours, Sirius. Honestly, sometimes-"

"No!" Sirius protested quickly. "I was curious about _Moaning Myrtle_, not the girls' _toilet_."

Remus smiled a little. "If you say so…" he waggled his eyebrows at Sirius mischievously, and then regretted it instantly as his head throbbed again.

Sirius was not to be distracted. "But anyway, the feast, how can you even be calm enough to do homework?"

"Because someone's got to do it so you can all copy it tomorrow morning," Remus quipped. Then he became solemn, wondering whether or not to continue. This was the problem with having friends when you needed to keep a secret. Friends were involved, concerned, they inquired… they were people you had to lie to. Oh, well. It wasn't like they wouldn't notice his absence at the feast, so he might as well speak up now. Right, then they wouldn't have time to jump to their own conclusions… Remus bit his lip and didn't quite meet Sirius's eyes as he added, "And because, I'm- well… I'm not exactly going to the feast." _Why_ did the full moon have to be on Halloween this year?

Sirius's eager face fell slightly, and his lower lip jutted out just a bit. Remus tried not to smile at how unwittingly adorable Sirius looked like when he unintentionally pouted. "But that's not okay! How come?"

Remus sighed. Now the lies began. He could hardly say, _Because I'm going to be turning into a monster that could very well kill all of you. _He winced as he mentally spoke the word "monster." It was almost as bad as "werewolf." _Almost._ Remus looked down, his long lashes casting shadows over his rather hollow cheeks. "I'm, er, not… feeling well." There, that was perfect. The week preceding the full moon turned him sallow and weak and sickly-looking anyway, he might as well capitalize on it. It was certainly believable.

Sirius frowned and began slowly, "There'll be other feasts, we have six more Halloweens at Hogwarts. Do you want us to stay with you, keep you company? I know James and Pete wouldn't mind." - a pause while Sirius rallied himself for further self sacrifice, and then - "And even if they did mind, _I'd_ still stay!"

Remus swallowed against his suddenly dry throat and quickly shouted, "No!" He flashed a quick glance at Sirius in time to catch the slightly hurt expression on his best mate's face. "I mean… that's okay, I don't want you to miss the feast just because of me," Remus backtracked quickly.

Sirius craned his neck a little, obviously trying to make eye contact with Remus, who kept his gaze stubbornly fixed on the floor. "What's up?" Sirius asked, his voice full of concern.

"What do you mean?" Remus said, tripping over his words in his haste to get them out.

"I'm going to sound like a girl, but… you could tell me if you had a problem, you get that, right?"

Remus smiled. "I know." _But if only _you_ knew, you wouldn't say that,_ he added in his thoughts.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, unconvinced.

"Would I lie to you?" Remus asked, trying to sound sure, feeling a pang of remorse as he played the guilt card. _Yes, I would… _Remus cursed the voice in his mind and wondered vaguely if _normal _people had that voice, too.

"No, I guess you wouldn't." Sirius grinned in the kindest possible way and thumped Remus on the back as he got up to go.

Remus inhaled sharply as the physical contact accentuated the ache in his bones. He forced a small smile. "Bring me back something sweet and chocolatey from the feast," Remus encouraged, even though his stomach clenched at the mere thought of eating so soon after a transformation. He'd long ago stopped wondering what he'd done to deserve his… condition. But at that moment, he wished more than anything to be someone his friends wouldn't have to fear and be ashamed of if they knew the truth.

* * *

><p>Sirius had wasted no time in telling James and Peter that Remus couldn't attend the feast. Now, only ten minutes before dinner, they were clustered around his bed in his dorm, trying to wheedle him into changing his mind. James picked up one of the moon charts on Remus's bed. He'd used them earlier that day to predict what time the moon would rise and forgot to put them away. It was a careless mistake, one that he shouldn't be making anymore. After all, he'd lived this way for years now, he should know better than to leave out his moon charts.<p>

"What are you doing with all of these? Even I've already finished my Astronomy homework," James said, his voice slightly amazed. A careful examination of James's face showed no suspicion, only idle curiosity.

"I did it this morning."

"But your homework's right here, and it's dated from two days ago," Peter remarked, both of them totally oblivious to the havoc the were wreaking on the already nervous boy seated on the bed.

A tremor shook through Remus's spine. He drew his knees up against his chest and tried to calm down. There were still fifteen minutes before he needed to get to the Whomping Willow, the symptoms were just presenting a little early because he was so anxious. His friends were still safe around him… at least for the time being. "I, um, took my homework out to check it over today," Remus said distantly, trying to focus on the conversation at hand enough to come up with a good excuse.

It worked; the confusion on Peter and James's brow cleared and they both grinned. "Now, that sounds more like you," Peter said.

Remus couldn't stop looking at the clock. He needed to get them to leave. "You guys are going to be late for the feast."

James shook his head, "Whatever, it's a feast. Are you sure you're fine? You don't look too good."

"I think maybe I'll go to the hospital wing," Remus mumbled. _That was good, it would be a cover if he wasn't back before they were. _"Now, you promised to bring back some chocolate for me, so get going." He noticed Peter staring wistfully at the door, and was instantly thankful that Pete's sympathies were so firmly tied to his stomach. He managed a smile and nodded towards the door. "Go on."

That was all the encouragement Peter needed to head down to the feast, and he turned to go, the other boys following after a few concerned glances back to the bed. Remus mustered a small smile, but as soon as James shut the door behind them, Remus slumped back against his pillows, panting slightly, a sheen of sweat covering his face and neck.

He glanced at the clock and dragged himself out of bed, shuffling outside, wondering vaguely what would happen this time. It was only his second transformation at Hogwarts, and the first time Dumbledore had been there to oversee it and they'd sequestered him in a deserted shack in Hogsmeade. This time Dumbledore wouldn't be there, and he was curious in spite of himself as to how he would fall into this new routine of transformations at Hogwarts. Madame Pomfrey was waiting at the large oaken entrance to the castle. "You are late, Mr. Lupin," she said sternly.

"Sorry," he whispered, terrified by the prospect of what could have happened had he been even later.

"'Sorry' is not enough, Lupin, this is serious. It is not being a couple of minutes late for class. This is a matter of life and death and you could-"

"I _know_, okay?" Remus interrupted tiredly, dreading hearing what he could have done.

Madame Pomfrey's face softened. "Of course you know, poor thing," she murmured. "I have something for you to try out this time." She held up what looked like a leash and collar.

"You're going to…" Remus could hardly speak from humiliation. "Like a _dog_?"

"Madame Pomfrey smiled kindly at him. "You want to see the feast, don't you?"

Remus's eyes widened. "I can… I can be there?"

She nodded, beaming at him. "Outside the windows of the Great Hall. _If_ you'll wear the collar and the leash," she added sternly.

Remus gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I'll wear it. Thanks."

Madam Pomfrey said quickly, "Well, yes, normally I'd not condone reckless endangerment, but of course exceptions can be made…" She trailed off as they walked to the edge of the Forbidden Forest together. "You'll transform here, and then once you get… under control… I'll walk you out to the Great Hall's windows."

"Won't the other kids be able to see me?"

"No, the glass has been enchanted to be one-way glass tonight. And here are your, er, accessories, shall we say?"

Remus took the collar and leash from her. "I have to put them on before?" he asked uncomfortably. The matron nodded. Remus looked at the collar, hating the self-degradation of it, even if it was going to give him a degree of freedom he'd never before had during the full moon. It was a plain leather collar and a rope leash. He put the collar about his slim white neck with shaking fingers, the tremors down his spine increasing if frequency and intensity. _Hurry, hurry, hurry_ he chanted to himself.

He got the collar on, and Madame Pomfrey stepped forward to clip on the leash when flaming hot pain shot down Remus's spine, making his vertebra feel like they were turning into molten liquid. He curled over into himself, crying out in pain, and then his head reared back, thrown into the air, as he fell onto all fours. He raised a hand to his mouth in horror and whirled to warn Madame Pomfrey. But by the time he had turned towards her, his hand was a hulking paw that swiped at Madame Pomfrey's arm, leaving terrible red marks along the length of it. Remus tried to scream, but only a horribly yowling issued from his muzzle. The primal beast within him took over and the real Remus shrank away from his own demons, silenced as Madame Pomfrey changed plans swiftly and began to drag him to the tree that would bring him to his shack in Hogsmeade.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry."<p>

Remus, human again, watched as Madame Pomfrey shook her head at his statement and precisely tipped three drops of a pale pink potion onto her injured arm. "You didn't do anything." The potion hissed on contact with her torn flesh.

"I'm sorry."

"Mr. Lupin, for the last time, it was _not _your fault."

"But-"

"Mr. _Lupin_."

"Okay, sorry."

"If you apologize one more time for _anything_, anything at all, I will take fifty points from Gryffindor."

That made Remus pause, and he wondered for a moment what he ought say, if not an apology. He opened his mouth, not knowing what he would say, and was surprised to find himself asking, "Why?"

"Because you can't help what you did, and it is _my _job to keep both of us safe, not yours, Mr. Lupin."

Remus bit his lip, floored.

"Stop biting your lip, it's torn up enough from those fangs you grow when you transform." She bustled away and came back a moment later with a small container of a thick yellow cream. "Smear this on your lips every morning and night for the next three days and they'll heal."

Remus took the jar from her and looked down, horribly embarrassed.

"You're about to apologize again, so I suggest you get yourself out of my office before you do, Mr. Lupin."

"Oh, okay, sor- I mean, I'll see you in a month!" he said nervously as he fled from the room.

When he got up to his dorm, James, Sirius and Peter were awake, talking quietly, even though dawn was breaking over the crest of the Forbidden Forest. "What are you guys doing up?" Remus asked, shocked.

"Did you really think we'd not wait for you?" Sirius asked. "I'm insulted."

"You shouldn't have, you won't be able to concentrate on the Potions test today if you're all falling asleep during it!" Remus protested. "If I'd known you were going to do that I would have talked you out of it."

"You look pretty exhausted yourself, so you're not one to talk," Peter said, eyeing the dark circles Remus knew were under his eyes. "I fell asleep around midnight and they let me sleep for a few hours, so you can all copy off of _me _in Potions," Peter announced proudly.

Remus tried to put all the words of gratitude he couldn't manage to force out of his constricted throat into the smile he gave them, and as they beamed back, he rummaged in his school bag and pulled out a sheaf of immaculate Potions notes. "At least I have good notes we can all study from," he offered, holding up the thick stack of parchment.

"You're a life saver, Remus," James said appreciatively.

Remus tried not to dwell on the irony of that statement as they all crowded around the notes on his bed. Instead, he took a deep breath and forgot about the remnant ache in his bones as a happy warmth in his chest took its place.

* * *

><p>AN: I didn't proofread this chapter all that well, so I'm sorry if there are mistakes in it. Also, I'm kind of unsure about my characterization of Sirius here. There were a bunch of things I meant to say in the Author's Note, but I can't remember any of it at the moment. I don't even know what I'm saying right now, so... enjoy, fans of Remus, and don't forget to leave a review!


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